Desperate Acts
by Koromo
Summary: I know this sounds cliched, but hear me out. After Edward leaves, Bella leaves Charlie's house and is driven to desperate acts to keep herself afloat. RATED T FOR SAFETY
1. Desperation

_A.N._

_I realize that this is an overused topic for a fanfic: In New Moon, Edward's gone, but what if Bella did something other than sit with a hole inside her? Yes, yes, I know, I know, but get off my back. This is guaranteed to be a freaking WEIRD fanfic, but deal with it. And I hope that it goes without saying that the "He" with a capital H refers to Edward._

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Bella or the other Twilight characters, including Edward (ME:sniff NOOO!!! WHY?!?!? WHY WON'T YOU LET ME HAVE HIM, STEPHENIE?!? GIVE HIM! GIMMIE!!!!_

_STEPHENIE: No! Back! Back! calls security_

_SECURITY: forcefully removes me and proceeds to beat me with cudgels). _

Bella calmly opened her eyes as her alarm clock beeped loudly. She tore one elegant arm out from under the bedsheets and slammed the snooze button. Bella didn't have to worry about Charlie anymore—she had left him just two weeks after He had left her. Bella now lived in a dilapidated two-room hovel in the middle of Forks, alone. She still couldn't bear to think His name and her heart still twisted in her ribcage at the memory of His perfection—His brilliance. _If only He knew what I was doing now_, she thought.

She pulled herself out of bed and shuffled over to the bathroom. Bella stepped into the shower and mindlessly washed herself in cold water. After she stepped out, she walked over to the mirror to look at herself. The cracked glass reflected a wretched soul without a hope in the world. Bella's hair had lost its luster, and it hung dripping and tangled around her narrow face. Her skin was whiter than paper from days inside with the blinds drawn. Her eyes, usually alive and twinkling, were now blank and empty. She had lost a lot of weight since He had gone away—an unhealthy amount. Bella had dropped out of school; Jessica and Mike were more irritating than she had realized, and life just wasn't the same without the Cullens.

Bella lowered her eyes and began to brush her teeth—the minty toothpaste and dollar store toothbrush were all she had to worry about right then. Up, down, up, down…Now the hair. Slowly she dragged the brush through it, working out the tangles. By the time she was done her hair was dry. Bella turned and walked back into her room to get dressed. She dropped the towel onto the dirty carpeting and opened the tiny closet. Her thin arm extended to pull a nondescript chain. A dim bulb flickered to life and a moth fluttered to it, smacking into the light over and over again. Bella reached forward and removed her clothing from a shelf, shuddering at the thought of her agenda for the day. But she reminded herself that He had forced her to do this, that it was all His fault, that she had no other choice. She had to make ends meet somehow.


	2. Desperate Act The First

_A/N: I'm just a crazy fangirl—I don't own Edward or Twilight's people. I've met Stephanie Meyer, and I can tell you that she's so nice that I'd NEVER steal from her!!! Please R&R!!!!_

Bella pulled the outfit on, shivering as the cool material encompassed her being. Bella had lost her endearing clumsiness with His departure, along with her feeling. She had no emotions—every day was the same, and yet she could not (would not) change her routine.

Bella stood up and walked elegantly into the small bathroom and stood before the mirror again. She teased her hair into a radical sort of ponytail and applied layer upon layer of too-stand-out-ish makeup to her eyes, cheeks, and lips. She hitched a purse over her shoulder and walked out the door, not bothering to lock it behind her.

Less than ten minutes later, Bella had arrived at her job site. She stood uncertainly, a little wary, as she always did before going inside. Then she reminded herself: He had done this to her. It was all His fault. He had driven her to this! With newfound resolution Bella squared her shoulders and walked into the place.

The lighting was bright and beat down with all the intensity of a thousand suns. She deposited her purse in the back room and stepped out onto the stage, giving herself the usual mental pep talk. This wasn't a good job by any means. Some would consider it unrighteous, some would call it desperate—and if it was anything, the job was desperate. Even the poorest of women shied away from this profession, claiming it was wrong or against their personal beliefs. They would sooner live in boxes on the street collecting cans, they said, than do this to themselves. And maybe they were right—Bella had been through the same routine often enough to realize why. But she stepped further onto the stage nonetheless, pushing these thoughts and regrets to the back of her mind and bearing her teeth in a wide, fake smile meant to entice customers.

"Look, children, it's Candy the Clown!" boomed the manager's voice.

Small children gasped in wonderment as Bella started doing a little jig on the stage, the fake smile still plastered on her face. The clown suit—made out of a hula hoop around the waist and some colorful fabric—bounced with her, reeking of shows past, sweat, and beer. Bella nearly gagged on the scent; when it was combined with the ever-present stench of low-budget pizza that surrounded the place like an aura, she always told herself _I'll quit. This is stupid. Why am I doing this? _But then the manager would give her the tiny paycheck and she'd remember that if she didn't deserve Him, then surely she was demoted to clown status.

That was when the first plastic cup came flying towards her head. It smashed into the side of her skull; the remaining liquid flowed over her clown suit, spattering her face. A small, bratty boy of about seven was sitting in the front row, wearing a conical birthday hat, surrounded by presents. He had a smirk the size of a bus on his face. It stretched from ear to ear, making the boy look like a cross between the Grinch and Draco Malfoy. His little friends laughed along with him as Bella shook the suit out, trying to dry it before it was stained. Then a slice of pizza tore through the air and smacked her left arm, leaving a triangular grease stain before it fell to the floor. Another plastic cup from the birthday boy, a hunk of cake, and a scoop of ice cream were all hurtling through the air within seconds. They all hit their mark, and Bella was running away by this point. Why did this always happen to HER? He did this to her, and now look what was happening. After the manager had apologized—_Apologized?! For WHAT? _Thought Bella—to the parents of the children, he came backstage. Bella was scraping cheese and cheap ice cream off of the clown suit when he poked his greasy, bald head around the corner. He told her how sorry he was, but that he was going to have to let her go. She didn't care—who needed a job like this?

And with that Bella ended her career as Candy the Clown at Pizza Palace, walking out of the establishment with her head held high. She'd find another job…Wouldn't she?


End file.
